First-time-mom-thoughts, I

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  1. Just when you think you’re not going to make it, they take an extra long nap.
  2. The cutest sounds during the day are the same noises that make you think they are dying at night.
  3. Red lights are the spawn of Satan. I never knew I had such road rage or was so apt to cursing.
  4. To be honest, nothing, NOTHING but baby has been on my radar. This includes dun dun dun… God. Trying to figure out how to work this out as a spiritual being, much less a pastor. Seems my previously favorite mantra of finding the holy in the ordinary will now be put to the test.
  5. That moment when someone officially gives you that sympathetic look and says “first time mom, huh?”
  6. The thing they don’t tell you is that even if the baby sleeps, you still probably don’t.
  7. Sometimes I wish I had a picture of my boobs from before, for old times’ sake.
  8. Totally unrelated but when will my phone quit autocorrecting “Lyle” to “Luke”?
  9. I am constantly texting my friends with things I call baby equations. “If she took a nap this morning, but then slept again all during lunch, how do I proceed in the afternoon?” Etc. etc. etc. (thank you wonderful friends and sisters who have gone before me. I couldn’t survive without your wisdom)
  10. Me: At what age does the 5 pm fussiness end?
    Every mom ever: IT NEVER ENDS.
  11. That reminds me, can babies die from crying? Can their heads explode? I call my baby dream-baby cause she’s oh so sweet and mostly super chill, but when she puts her heart into it, I fear for her life.
  12. It’s like I really want a break, but I miss her when I’m not with her or even when I put her to sleep for the night! (I don’t miss her during naps, those glorious things; I’m not THAT crazy!)
  13. I need a sign for the car seat that says “If I don’t know you, do not reach in and touch this baby” and another for my front door that reads “RING THAT DOORBELL AND FACE CERTAIN DEATH”
  14. Sometimes I wonder how many kisses I’ve given her chunky cheeks by now. A million at least. A billion?
  15. If I had to describe being a mom in one word it would be “heart wrenching” because it’s so full of joy and pain, glory and fear. I love her so much more than I ever knew I could love, but I love her so much that it actually aches; it literally hurts! Not sure if this makes sense. Hoping it’s a mom thing.God I hope she likes me.
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2 thoughts on “First-time-mom-thoughts, I

  1. You are truly now a mom! Each Blessing will flood your Soul. Each heartache will devastate you but there is nothing better than your own child/children…. Well except grandchildrens😜

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