cosette’s lovely nursery

We were doing some pretty big renovations between August and November, so I didn’t get to set up the nursery until fairly recently.

Before then, people would constantly ask if I had a theme. I always told people no, that I just planned on putting whatever I liked in there, and that there would likely be a lot of pops of color. And this is just what we did (by we, I mean my design savvy saviors, Melinda and Fran Pratt) 🙂

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I did know that I wanted all of the furniture to be white. And the room ended up having a lot of gold and pink accents, which was unplanned, but it has tied everything together nicely.

The above dresser was Lyle’s moms. She used it to change both her kids’ diapers! How special! We painted it white and replaced the hardware with fun, colorful knobs.

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The grey blanket above was gifted to us by Lyle’s aunt Cindy, and the pink one below was gifted to us by my aunt Tina. We love our aunties so much!

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My favorite thing about the nursery is that it is packed with meaning. Notice the art:

Top Left: the dreamcatcher was the first thing I bought for Cosy myself. I found it and the Texas print (on separate occasions) at one of my favorite boutiques on South Congress. The canvas painting was done for me by my friend, Frances. I literally sent her this photo from a magazine, and she recreated it! The peonies were painted for Cosy with love by my friend, Ashley, and in memory of Jann.

Top middle: Artwork by Jann, aka the most influential person in my young life and mother-figure to me. She gave me these pieces (look like paintings; actually tiny pieces of paper!), and I have brought them with me everywhere I’ve lived since college. Cosy is named after Jann (Cosette Jann Pratt) so I thought they belonged in her room.

Bottom Left: I attended a Willy Wonka screening while pregnant and got to meet some of the original actors. This poster with their autographs is a reminder of that fun night!

Bottom middle: Fran orchestrated the making of this mobile at my baby shower. So much love and creativity went into it. I love it!

Far Right: Melinda, my mother in law, makes all the babies their own quilt. Twin sized so they can actually make use of it for years to come. I love it so much!

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Our hospital bags are packed. Cosy, we are ready to love you!

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vulnerable ramblings on pregnancy and remembering

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Remembering is a powerful thing.

A year ago this week I stood in my living room with family, and we prayed a prayer of healing over my body. We prayed that when I went to the doctor for the follow up, all would be well.

A few hours later, we were celebrating at my favorite restaurant. Not only did everything look great, but the doc gave us clearance to start trying to conceive again – a whole 6 months earlier than we thought would happen in the best case scenario!

One year exactly later, and our girl could come any week now. My body has changed in ways I could have never imagined. I feel huge physically, but I also huge with love. Also, I feel like a nutcase. I am tired, and I am finding it really difficult to concentrate. But I know I’m only tired because I am growing my baby. And I know I can’t concentrate because I literally cannot stop thinking about her. (Like I said – total nutcase.)

Even though I am so full of love and excitement, a giant part of me is absolutely terrified. Will I know how to take care of her when she comes? Do I have the selflessness required for this great task? Will my heart be able to bear such an unreciprocated relationship? Because, let’s face it, she will never be able to comprehend this love I have for her, the many months of growing her and dreaming about her and imagining who she will be. She will never fully understand that, until perhaps one day when she has children of her own. Hell, I don’t even fully understand it! I never knew I could feel so much love filled terror! Any day she could come, and when she does our lives will change forever. It’s hard to imagine.

Sometimes I am sad. I miss my body, my normal clothes, my shoes, my wedding ring (will they ever fit again?), the ability to have a drink at dinner, playing softball, sleeping comfortably. Mostly, I miss being sure about who I was. I have changed so much already, and I am sure there is only more of that to come. Pregnancy feels an awful lot like an identity crisis.

But then I remember. I remember that doctor’s appointment 365 days ago. And I remember the difficult season leading up to it. I remember the fear and uncertainty of unknowing. And I remember the joy I felt when possibility was given back to us again. Remembering is a powerful thing.

My prayer leading up this 3rd Sunday of Advent, which highlights Joy, is that I won’t forget to remember. For me, remembering – reflecting on both hard and good times alike, creates a spirit of gratitude that enables me to recognize, receive and give joy more fully. This has been a special season, one that is interesting/difficult/mysterious/wondrous all at the same time; one that I realize I am blessed to know. As awkward as I have been in it, I hope I have done it justice.